Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Our Official "Salvation" Photo

Photo Credit: LA Underground

It's Been a Long Time Since I Rock and Rolled

Useless Keys have been holed up in a studio in Silver Lake with producer Sheldon Gomberg over the past couple months. He's been producing and engineering the shit out of several soon-to-be-massive UK hits. "White Noise" and "It's All Made Up" have been uploaded to our myspace page that you can visit by clicking here. We also uploaded a demo version of "Down Threw" for your listening pleasure. Here are some pictures from the studio and yes, that is a man playing a trumpet submerged in a bucket of water...

This is Sheldon Gomberg. His favorite things in life are ice cold horchatas, pizza with vegan friendly toppings, a solidly performed bass line and he absolutely loves it when I place a glass full of liquid on top of his mixing console. I mean if you really want to see him cheer up, give it a try.

Meet Michael Regilio world. He's always munching on something.

So, I guess it's been a while, right? Since we last talked, we played a show in Riverside, where Rory hung out in a very heterosexual bar, we played a monday night at Spaceland with Kenan Bell, played with Eagle Winged Palace at Echo Curio (debuted new songs there) and we just had a show at The Silverlake Lounge this past Tuesday. Here's a youtube clip from that show:

Mark Shovel from Indie 103.1 gave "It's All Made Up" a spin on his local show "Check One Two" last Sunday, so we got that going for us, which is nice. This Saturday we are playing an amazing show with a solid lineup at Pehrspace in Echo Park. We will be joined by Blackbird, Billygoat, Hello Dragon, and Summer Darling. For more show information please visit LA-Underground.

Lastly, Phil Collins kicks ass. Seriously. This dude cranked out hits in the 80's like a Coca Cola plant cranks out bottles of sugar water. Do yourself a favor and watch him give it his all in the videos below. Phil doesn't lack passion in his performance. Don't even get me started about his drum sounds.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Spaceland 8.29.08 Blog

Nothing is better than starting a 3 day weekend (due to Labor day) off with a good ol Rock Show. I was the first UK member to arrive at the club at around 7:15ish. LSD and M.Mortals were already there, sound checking and I just sat there and chilled and waited for my other tardy band members to arrive. I was angered that the bar was not open yet but that would soon change. Guylaine arrives 2nd and we chat with the other bands for a while and decide to smoke a cigarette outside in which I see Bauer rolling down Silverlake Blvd blasting NWA's - Straight Outta Compton (not really, but would of been alot cooler if he did), Regilio shows up and bottoms out driving into Club Spaceland's semi vertical driveway entry which gave me a chuckle. We unload the equipment and sound check shortly after, things where sounding gooood. People started to show up at this point and the UK's stormed the bar to "loosen up" before hitting the stage. Mickey (our manager) and his twin bro showed up and i started to talk to them about Sarah Palin's physical attributes instead of political attributes (heh). Shelly (who is recording us at the moment) also arrived and seemed psyched to see us play the songs we've been recording in his studio live. As i head to the bar to grab a Jack and Coke i see Bauer leaving the bar with 2 whiskey's and a splash of water maybe? Idk, i noted this and used god's name in vein. More and more people started to show up and a nice crowd started to enter the venue. We took the stage at approx 9:40 and our setlist included..

Arizona State Highway
Down Threw
Radiation Burns
White Noise
It's All Made Up

As far as I'm concerned i thought we killed it, my bassdrum pedal kept falling off causing me to say "shit, fuck, shit, fuck" numerous times in between songs. Apparently i hit the drums to hard but who cares? My personal highlight was White Noise i thought it was the first time we played that song the way it should be live. During this song me and Regilio were on the verge of destroying our equipment but that may of not been a good idea.....We finished our set and some people in the crowd were yelling "Bauer Power" which made me crack up. Everyone in the UK party seemed pretty happy and satisfied. A good show, good turnout, now back to the Bar. I said Hi to some friends who showed up and bought 5 shots of tequila. Now this pisses me off. I grab 5 shots and only 3 people want to take the goddamn things. What am i going to let them sit there on the table and ferment? Fuck no, i drank them....Well I'm not sure exactly what happened to everyone else's night, I left early due to an explicit text message sent to me from a female in the crowd. I'm sure that everyone else got had a grand ol' time. Stay tuned for the next episode...

The Tony Danza of the AB Stanza,

Rory Modica

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Cafe Du Nord 8.8.08 Photo Blog

We stopped for foods shortly after passing through the grapevine.

Is it just me or does this panda seem like he's completely full of shit?

Once we were done playing, we got fucked up.

We arrived back at the hotel around 2:00 a.m. to discover, much to our disappointment, the pool had closed. Never one to pay attention to "rules", I told the hotel receptionist that I was going to do a cannonball into the pool at 3:30 a.m. I'm a man of my word. As soon as I stuck my head above the water after my initial plunge, I was greeted by the presence of hotel security and I said, "Hey! How's it going?" The hotel employee replied, "Okay...... so...... you can speak English and I'm guessing you're not illiterate so how about you get out of the pool now?" I respectfully went back to the hotel room and drank more beer.

This is the picture Regilio took that was suppose to be me in the middle of the air in cannonball form. He was drinking a decent amount.

We all made it back to Los Angeles safely. The bands we played with at Cafe Du Nord were amazing. LSD and The Search for God were dreamy and entrancing, Hot Lunch melted faces, and Assemble Head In Sunburst Sound were incredibly nice guys that blew minds on stage. San Francisco, we'll be seeing you again shortly. Special thanks to our tour manager, Mickey. Goddamnit, Mickey!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

What does the goddamn line say Tony?

Danger week has continued to roll along for Useless Keys. Yesterday, Regilio managed to smack his shin into a fire hydrant as Guylaine and I strolled along the Venice boardwalk with him. He hobbled around for the remainder of the day. Later in the evening upon returning to his apartment, he tripped down some steps and faceplanted himself on his driveway. I guess you could say I "got caught up in the spirit of things" and sprained my ankle falling down a small set of stairs shortly thereafter. If you are ever in the Atwater Village neighborhood, I'm certain I'd be easy to spot these days; I'm the guy waddling down the sidewalk like a penguin, tending to a twisted ankle and a broken back.

Guylaine had a show last night with Sky Parade at a new venue in LA (Il Corral's old space) where she successfully blew out her eardrums. The room was all brick, incredibly narrow and her head was positioned inches away from a crash cymbal for 45 minutes. No one ever said that being a rock n' roller was easy.

Musically, UK's have been preparing new songs and tightening the set in preparation for our August shows in San Francisco and Los Angeles. We are playing at Cafe Du Nord on August 8th and Spaceland on August 29th. Our set time for both of the shows is 9:30pm. There's also been recent chatter concerning t-shirts in Camp UK. Be on the lookout for those. I hear they are Christmas 2008's "Ultimate Stocking Stuffer".

Lastly, UK's have been enamored over the past 24 hours by yet another youtube video. Meet Jack Rebney. He likes to cuss. "Get outta here you fucking flies." Personally, my favorte moment of the video is when Jack says to Tony, "Thank you very much, I appreciate that Tony, don't slam the fucking door!"

m to the b.

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Battle of Upland

Oh Upland! You savvy old veteran you! You put up a fair and respectable fight, attempting to defeat your opposition with self-inflicted wounds. While I do commend thee, I unabashedly claim victory and I do look forward to future confrontations....

UK's had a show last night (Sunday July 28) at Biacci's Pizza in Upland, CA with fellow Los Angeles rockers, Hello From Reno. The day started out with meeting up at the rehearsal space around 4pm, follow by a short run through of the set and a lengthy discussion of band politics. Guylaine had to tend to a sick cat so Rory, Regilio and I drove out in the van and we met up with her there. As we drove along the 210 Highway to make our destination, we grooved to Clinic's "Walking with Thee" and discussed beer production, Marblehead, MA, how Matt Damon has made it easier for Bostonians males to get action, the origin of the geographical term "east bumfuck" among other things. Personally, my favorite story was delivered by Rory Modica (UK's drummer with a thick Boston accent) as he recounted his initial reaction to Californian's probing of his Boston accent. I'm certain this isn't a completely accurate quote but read it anyways (and be sure to read it with a thick Boston accent in mind).

"You really stand out having a Boston accent in Los Angeles. I moved out to LA and people I'd meet in bars kept trying to get me to say certain words and shit. Like this one chick kept trying to get me to say "fork". I was like, fuck that, what am I? A fucking dog?"

That was the line of the night. "What am I? A fucking dog?" I assure you Rory is no dog. He's a motherfucking drummer that blasts the shit out of the skins, kudos to you Rory.

So the van rolls into Biacci's Pizza at 6:30 p.m. and we park right to the side of a beautiful, brand new, white, PT Cruiser. Michael Regilio, sitting in the passenger seat, swings open the passenger door and absolutely creams this beautiful new car. I was already walking toward the back of the van while he did so and noticed a large man with a bushy goatee, shaved head, rushing from Biacci's toward Regilio. This fine gentleman was the kind of individual one would envision belonging to a Hell's Angels-esque biker gang. So literally within seconds upon our arrival, UK's are already being threatened with getting our asses kicked. Goddamn you run a tight ship Upland! Regilio quickly and alertly decides the best course of action is complete denial, so after a hundred and twenty seconds of saying, "No, I swear I didn't hit it" the seas of masculinity calmed and Regilio found a quiet place to ponder his newly reestablished existence. After several clandestine efforts, we detected that no serious damage was done to the PT Cruiser and breathed easier.

Biacci makes one hell of a pizza.

Our set list was as follows:

Parking Lot Angel
Down Threw
White Noise
It's All Made Up

We kept the set short in the interests of the new audience and Regill's was having some "tech diffs" which cut Neighbors. In my experience, after hearing 5 songs from a band you've never heard before, audience attention starts to wane. While taking apart his drumkit, Rory managed to smash his fingernail in, causing blood to squirt all over the stage and his shirt. Upland, you fiendish beast!

After playing, UK's decided to "tie one on" with the bartender since she was already leading the way. Hello From Reno had their first show and played a very tight and energetic set. My favorite song was "Roy Orbison" which was very pleasant on the ears, made me wish I was on a beach in Hawaii, not that I've ever been.

Around 10pm, it was declared by Sir Modica that it was time to load the van. I yelled at Regilio to help out, then I bent over, grabbed my amp in a bearhug, and picked up the 70 lb amp. Then.......you guessed it! UPLAND STRIKES AGAIN!

I completely threw my back out. I felt like a voodoo doll and someone just jabbed a needle directly into the middle of my back. I put the amp in the van, winced in pain and was unable to pick up so much as a mic stand the rest of the night. Ah, in retrospect, the pain was a small price to pay for this rock and roll life. UK's made it back to LA alive and ready to play another show, which is coincidentally August 8th in San Francisco at Cafe Du Nord, be there if you can.

Lessons Learned.

1. Be careful when opening up the van doors.
2. Be careful when breaking down the drums.
3. Be careful when lifting heavy objects.
4. Biacci's has great pizza and the bartender likes to have a good time.
5. Rock n' roll is bitch and pain is a small price to pay to enjoy it.


Wednesday, June 18, 2008

And So It Begins......

Greetings fellow internet users. Useless Keys are 24 hours away from playing our inaugural show and we're feeling quite satisfied. After months of writing, rehearsing, procrastinating, sleeping, working, running, transporting, lifting, pondering, dreaming, drinking, avoiding, and accepting, we are ready to start performing. We do hope you enjoy the ride. Please keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times while it's moving, and in the event of an emergency, please remain calm and wait for instructions that will be transmitted to through the loud speakers.

As for personal information that can be divulged, Useless Keys is comprised of Guylaine Vivarat (bass, vocals), Rory Modica (drums, vocals), Michael Regilio (guitar, keys, vocals) and Michael Bauer (guitar, vocals). I'm pretty sure that all 4 of us want Barack Obama to become president in January of next year. It seems to me that rich Americans have had an ample amount of time to fill their treasure chests over the past 8 years and 2008 is the year that we make the playing field a little less lopsided. All 4 of us enjoy enjoy the occasional alcoholic beverage, so we got that going for us, which is nice. We enjoy three part harmonies, even when one of us is notoriously off mark. Practice makes perfect, right? I'm trying, lord knows I'm trying.

Just for the record, Regilio's last name is pronounced- rah-jill-e-o. He hates it when people mispronounce his last name and harbors ill will until they make the correction, so you better get it right.

Okay, enough small talk. I'm sure we'll have something for you to buy soon. For now, just come to our show tomorrow at Spaceland. Rock and roll forever.


Tuesday, January 8, 2008


We will use this blog as other blogs are used, to direct and inform you. Welcome, good to have you aboard.